Saturday, April 21, 2007

JOKES

I love jokes, especially bad ones...
I have asked my friends and students from university to tell me a joke for my blog.
I will start with my favourite joke at the moment which is

A FONT WENT INTO A BAR AND ASKED FOR A DRINK, THE BAR MANAGER SAID OI YOU GET OUT!
WE DONT WANT YOUR TYPE IN HERE.

These jokes are from my friends.

A CANINBAL SAID TO HIS WIFE "I DON'T LIKE YOUR MOTHER" THE WIFE REPLIED "WELL JUST EAT THE CHIPS"

WHAT DO YOU CALL A DEER WITH NO EYES? I HAVE NO EYE DEER

HOW MUCH DO COCKNEYS PAY FOR THIER SHAMPOO? A PAAAND TEN

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CROSS EYED CIRCUMCIST? HE GOT THE SACK

AN ELEPHANT SAYS TO A CMAEL "WHY ARE YOUR BOOBS ON YOUR BACK"? THE CAMEL SAYS "THATS A GOOD ONE COMING FROM SOMEONE WITH THIER COCK ON THIER FACE

A 70 YO OLD COUPLE WERE SHAGGING AGAINST A FENCE FOR 40 MINUTES THEY SHAGGED LIKE PORN STARS LEGS AND ARMS FLAYING EVERYWHERE THE OLD LADY SAID "YOU DIDN'T SHAG ME LIKE THAT 40 YEARS AGO" THE OLD MAN SAID "THE FENCE WASN'T ELECTRIC 40 YEARS AGO".

2 SAUSAGES IN A FRYING PAN 1 SAUSAGE TURNS TO THE OTHER AND SAYS "ITS A BIT HOT HERE" THE OTHER SAUSAGE SAYS "AAAH A TALKING SAUSAGE".

2 VERY PISSED TOMATOES WERE CROSSING THE ROAD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, 1 TOMATOE SAYS TO THE OTHER "WATCH OUT FOR THE C..PPFOOOF" 'WHAT C...PPFOOOF"

WHAT WOIOBLES AND FLIES?
A JELLICOPTOR.

2 COWS IN A FIELD, I COW TURNS TO THE OTHER AND SAYS MOOO
THE 2ND COW SAID I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO SAY THAT.

WHAT HAS 2 LEGS AND BLEEDS ALOT?
HALF A CAT.

2 BIRDS SITTING ON A PERCH. ONE BIRD SAYS TO THE OTHER.
I CAN SMELL FISH.

A MAN IS LIKE A PACK OF CARDS.
YOU NEED A HEART TO LOVE HIM, A DIAMOND TO MARRY HIM, A CLUB TO KNCOK THE BASTARDS HEAD IN AND A SPADE TO BURY THE FUCKER...

WHY ARE MEN LIKE TOILETS?
THEY ARE EITHER ENGAGED OR FULL OF SHIT.

SUPERMAN IS FLYING IN THE SKY AND HE IS FEELING WELL HORNY AND HE'S THINKING I GOTTA GET ME A BIT OF SEX.
HE FLIES PAST THIS ROOF TOP AND SPOTS WONDERWOMAN SUNNING HERSELF AND NOT JUST SUNNING HERSELF BUT SPREAD EAGLED ON THIS ROOF SUNNING HERSELF, SO SUPERMAN THINKS TO HIMSELF, WELL IM AS FAST AS A SPEEDING BULLET, I COULD GET DOWN THERE DO THE DEED AND BE GONE BEFORE SHE IS ANY THE WISER. SO HE FLIES DOWN GIVES WONDERWOMAN A GOOD SEEING TO THEN FLIES OFF. WONDERWOMAN SAY'S OF MY GOD WHAT WAS THAT? AND THE INVISABLE MAN SAYS I DON'T KNOW BUT MY ASS IS KILLING ME.

A SLAES MAN IS OUT DOING HIS ROUNDS. HE WALKS UP TO A DOOR AND RINGS THE BUZZER. A MINUTE OR SO PASSES AND THE DOOR IS OPENED BY A BOY AROUND THE AGE OF 5 OR 6. THE BOY IS DRESSED IN HIS MOTHERS EVENING GOWN WEARING HIGH HEEL SHOES WITH A GLASS OF RED WINE IN 1 HAND AND A CIGAR IN THE OTHER. THE SALES MAN ASKS "ARE YOUR PARENTS AT HOME YOUNG MAN"? THE BOY REPLIES "DOES IT LOOK LIKE MY FUCKING PARENTS ARE HOME.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

FASHION WEEK

THE GIRLS SHOW OFF
OR
MORE TEXT THAN FABRIC

Fashion Week comes but twice a year and when it does, girls get bulimic…
Nestled in the art hodgepodge that is Hoxton, Junky Styling or Annika Sanders & Kerry Seger have been producing a formidable translation of fashion for the past 10 years. Born from necessity and a love for the individual, Junky garments transcend the pre-conceived ideas of British fashion.
The team at Junky have an ethical approach to their garments and each are lovingly created from an existing garment. Add to this the dynamics of the team and the beautiful twist, it’s a recipe for addiction.
For the show itself Junky took us skiing. Salopets go on the roughest rides of their lives. Mixed up with organic cottons these garments would take you directly from the slopes to the nightclubs. Elegant dresses, extraordinary trousers and un-believable shirts made up this collection.
The show itself was static (models hanging around looking gorgeous) had a large attendance. With familiar faces from the London club and fashion scenes, plus people who looked like they were there for the free drinks and goodie bags.
Re-cycled fashion in itself is not a new thing but with the hype that is global warming, it wasn’t long before fashion became involved. Fashion herself is a frivolous, flirty animal, wanting things for a week then discarding them. With the advent of the ethical GREEN IS THE NEW BLACK, the bitch that is fashion has had to re-examine herself. Though I feel this can only be a fad, as all fashion is built on the ideas of the next big thing and next season.
“The young Hegal proposed as a possible definition of man a formula that today, in the midst of the ecological crisis, acquires a new dimension: nature sick unto death. All attempts to regain a new balance between man and nature, to eliminate from human activity it’s excessive character and to include it in a regular circuit of life, are nothing but a series of subsequent endeavors to suture an original and irredeemable gap”. Page 37 LOOKING AWRY An introduction to Jacques Lacan through Popular Culture Slavoj Zizek

HAVE A LOOK

http://www.duncanbone.com/JUNKY_LFW_07/

Monday, April 16, 2007

FEED ME

Gâteau au Chocolat


Ingrédients:

225g de sucre
60g de farine
6 oeufs
150g de beurre
225g de chocolat

Garniture:

100g de chocolat
1 petit pot de crème fraîche



• Préchauffez le four à 200◦ C

• Mélangez le sucre, la farine et les jaunes d’oeufs dans un grand récipient.
Les blancs d’oeufs devront être dans un récipient à part.

• Pendant ce temps faites fondre le chocolat et le beurre au micro-onde ou au bain-marie puis ajoutez-les au mélange.

• Battez les blancs en neige et ajoutez-les délicatement. Puis versez le tout dans un moule circulaire préalablement beurré.

• Mettez au four pendant 40mn.

• Sortez le gâteau du four. Laissez reposer pendant 5mn avant de démouler.

• Préparez la garniture : faites fondre le chocolat et ajoutez la crème.
Une fois le mélange bien consistent étalez -le sur le gâteau.



Bon appétit !












Coralie Burke – Artiste –






Rice ‘N’ Peas


Serves 6-8 Vegetarian
8 oz Black eyed peas/beans

1 small onion

1 clove garlic, crushed

_ teaspoon mixed herbs

1 small diced fresh

chilli

1 oz hard cream coconut

2 oz butter

9 oz long-grain rice

salt & pepper to taste.



• Wash the beans thoroughly, drain and put into a heavy saucepan, large enough to hold both beans and rice.

• Add the onion, garlic, mixed herbs and diced chilli. Add enough cold water to cover the beans by about two inches.

• Bring to the boil, lower the heat and cook, covered, at a gentle simmer until the beans are almost tender. Approx 40 to 60 minutes. If necessary, add a little hot water from time to time.

• Drain the beans and keep the liquid.

• Measure the liquid and add (if needed) enough water to bring the quantity up to 1 and a quarter pints.

• Return the beans and liquid to the saucepan.

• Wash the rice several times in cold water, drain, then add to the beans.

• Add the coconut and butter, stir once, then bring to the boil, lower the heat, add salt and pepper and cook, covered for 20 minutes, or until the rice is just tender and all the liquid absorbed.



Serve to accompany your favourite vegetarian/meat dish.

JANET Artist